I’m back from a full-on, soul-searching, up and down, figuratively (and literally) cleaning out of my closets.
You see, I’ve been realizing lately that life sometimes comes full speed at you. Usually, I like to pride myself of being the one in the driver’s seat, directing the traffic. I’m a woman who can do it all. I can manage working 50-60 hours a week in my fellowship, reading 1-2 more hours a night, preparing for conferences, teaching rounds, and various scholarly activities,packing my own lunches, doing my own laundry, cleaning my own apartment, walking the dog, keeping up with friends, maintaining a rapidly growing food blog (which is actually more than a part time job), and trying to get enough sleep to get up and do it all again the next day. My utmost admiration and respect goes out to those of you who have children. How do you do it? You are my heroes.
Recently, though, I was let down pretty harshly by not one, but by a few people, in a very short amount of time. I have this nasty recurring habit of ignoring red flags and warning signs and just blindly going forward in my Polly Anna way, searching out the very best and actually believing it exists in certain people. In a solid, yet steady stream of life-changing disappointments in the past few years, a girl can only take so much. I guess what has hurt the most is that I would never ever treat people in the way that I have been treated. So, I curled up in the fetal position and let them get the best of me, knowing deep down that it’s not me. I’ve been through enough in my life to have grown and changed enough to recognize when someone else has work to do. But, still, it hurts.
I had to force myself back into the kitchen. Nothing sounded good, nothing looked good, nothing energized me. Which, if you know me, is dangerous territory. This blog has been a source of strength for me for almost two years now. And do you know what happened? Out of the blue, old friends started randomly popping back into my life. Phone calls, emails, cards, texts. Unsolicited, and from out of nowhere. Readers asking where I’ve been. Dearest friends who see the best in me and just called to remind me of where I come from and who I am. Those people who actually raise me up-the ones I would do anything for. The ones who really know me. (You know who you are-thank you.)
So what have I been doing? Literally and figuratively cleaning out my closets. Getting rid of a lot of clutter and junk that no longer serves its purpose for me. Making way for the new that is rapidly approaching. Finding my center again, reading, yoga, breathing…you know, all that stuff. Taking a break. Taking care of myself and teaching myself that the world won’t stop if I ride in the passenger seat for a while.
Ironically enough, it was while I was cleaning out a closet that I found the waffle maker..that I had used once before in my life, and now it was buried under all the boxes of dishes and props for the blog. Not to be put away again and forgotten again for an indeterminate amount of time, I broke it out of the box, cleaned every nook and cranny, and made some homemade Belgian waffles from scratch. A little overly symbolic and sentimental, perhaps, but the gesture didn’t go ignored in my opinion. So, I’m back. I’m easing back into things, one at a time, and we all know I couldn’t hold back from baking something with chocolate in it for too much longer.
Thanks for listening. There are thousands of readers who come here every day, and it means a lot to me that you are here.
1 cup cake flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 eggs, separated
1 tablespoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1 cup milk
Non-stick cooking spray
For serving: powdered sugar, maple syrup, fruit, etc.
1. In a medium bowl, sift together the cake flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.
2. In another bowl (or the bowl of your standing mixer fitted with the paddle attachment), beat the egg yolks and the sugar on medium-high speed until pale yellow and thick.
3. Add the vanilla, melted butter, and milk to the egg yolk mixture and mix until combined.
4. Reduce the mixer speed to low and add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients, mixing until just combined.
5. In another bowl (I used my hand mixer for this part), beat the egg whites on high speed until thick and soft peaks form, about 1-2 minutes.
6. Using a rubber spatula, gently fold the egg whites into the waffle batter, mixing thoroughly.
7. Preheat your waffle maker, according to the manufacturer’s instructions, spraying lightly with cooking spray before adding the batter.
8. Cook each waffle, according to manufacturer’s instructions, until golden and slightly crisp. Serve immediately.
Source: Food Network.